There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
