the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
