if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
