it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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