I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
