Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
