U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
