another moral hangover. fuck.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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