he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
