ugly people sure do ruin things
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
