This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize