in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
