But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize