I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i was born a porn star she said
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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