Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize