I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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