He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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