DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
