I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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