trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
