please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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