At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
