i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
