My hand turned me down
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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