I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
