we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
