so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
