and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am one with the molecules
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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