You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize