Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
