i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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