North Korea, Best Korea!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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