i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
