Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize