Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize