But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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