Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sry I called you an 8
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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