OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
