i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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