if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
