apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
