Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
