i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
