shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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