u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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