First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
