i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
