the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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