she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I smell like Dick and happiness
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
