I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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