Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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