Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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