He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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