I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
