he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
