Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
