I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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