I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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