I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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