47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
