Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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