words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
