He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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