Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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