Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
