I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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