the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
