And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
