it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize