Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
