overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
