you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
