Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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