so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
