Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Randomize
